Lobo has one thing most characters never get: an epic vocabulary of one-liners. Joker and Thanos have indeed carved out a place as pop culture’s go-to source for food-for-thought quotes, as has Batman.
The Last Czarnian isn’t much like these three. He has an uncensored mouth that has no business with clean words they mean less for an alien bounty hunter who loves nothing other than beer, brawling, bounties, and his beloved Spacehog.
To non-readers of DC comics, Lobo’s best lines don’t travel well outside the page. Who can blame them, though? Without a silver-screen presence, it’s a bit hard to make an impression; Deadpool, Marvel’s analog to Lobo in the trash-talking department, stands as an example.
The latest iteration of the character — and second live-action appearance, following Emmett J. Scanlan’s turn in Syfy’s Krypton — is played by former-Aquaman-turned-bounty-hunter Jason Momoa’s Lobo in Supergirl. Momoa’s Lobo wastes the character’s iconic moments with surprisingly fewer curse words, leaving the comics as the only true representation of the bounty hunter in his element.
7
“I’m Gonna Kill You in a Brand New and Utterly Disgusting Way!”
Killing an already dead man, eating up an entire planet, killing himself so his ghost can pursue another ghost. These are just a few of the “fun” ways Lobo finds to maim and murder his victims. So when he threatens to kill someone in a “brand new and utterly disgusting way,” best believe he means it.
Green Lantern Guy Gardner was on the receiving end of this threat in Justice League International #19, titled “No More Mr. Nice Guy.” Guy, having just been knocked back to his usual obnoxious self after another hit to the head, gets slammed into by Lobo, who’s crashed through the wall of the JLI’s New York Embassy.
Guy (true to this character) heats up and wants to engage an uninterested Lobo. When a battle becomes imminent, Lobo says this:
“Not only am I doing you for free, fella… I’m gonna kill you in a brand new and utterly disgusting way.”
Thankfully for both, the Justice League shows up just in time to break up the fight. Lobo was about to break his rule of no killing without contract.
6
“I’m Lobo, Man! When the Meanest, Baddest Suckers in the Galaxy Need Someone Offed, They Call Me!”
Lobo is the DC universe’s infamous bounty hunter. And he takes pride in that. Thus, no one dares put his skills to doubt without consequences; not even the Man of Steel.
Superman got to find that out in Adventures of Superman (Vol. 1) #464, released in March 1990. Titled “Blood Brawl,” it was the first-ever meeting between the two. There, Lobo and sidekicks Bibbo Bibbowski and Raof arrive drunk at the Fortress of Solitude. Ordered by Superman to leave, Lobo tells him:
“I’m Lobo, man! When the meanest, baddest suckers in the galaxy need someone offed, they call me! When the Khunds need a planet’s leader knocked off before they invade…they call me! When Darkseid needs someone assassinated…you know who he calls?”
Of course, the Czarnian refuses to exit and a brawl ensues. Mid-battle, Superman makes the ultimate mistake by teasing that Darkseid would send Amazing Grace to do his dirty work instead of Lobo. For that Kal El gets multiple punches to the face and a head slam to the nearest wall.
The battle doesn’t go down well for the Kryptonian, who visibly struggles to stay in the fight, even after suiting up in Kryptonian battle armor. Even Lobo scratches his head as to why. He eventually gets his answer by finding a kryptonite stashed nearby.
5
“When the Main Man Kills Somebody, They Stay Dead!”
Lobo relishes each kill, even if they happen to be already dead victims. This was the case in Lobo (Vol. 2) #53, which sees him battle against a zombie Goldstar and other undead heroes before being beaten to an inch of his life. So, the Goldstar Fan Club (a group of Goldstar faithful) stage a humiliation on the Main Man of Czarnia for being Goldstar’s nemesis.
At a memorial, a zombified version of Goldstar emerges from the grave and engages Lobo. The latter beats back into the grave with a shovel and the dead hero’s own headstone before going to face the rest of the deceased superheroes rising too. Before he does, he drops an epic bravado line as he basks in the triumph over Goldstar:
“Lissen up, ya feeb! When th’ Main Man kills somebody, they stay dead! I dunno what th’ big difference is with you, puke-head, but don’t worry. I’ll soon sort things out!”
Unfortunately for Lobo — and fortunately for the Goldstar Fan Club — the day was not his to win. After being knocked out by a zombie Blind Justice, an unconscious and naked Lobo gets shipped off to the Devil’s Asteroid.
There, he’s ambushed by a quartet of robot bounty hunters who douse his body in machine gun fire. To his credit, he defiantly charges head on, but he loses his limbs and his entire torso as the robots finish the job.
4
“I Killed Every Living Thing on Czarnia For Fun”
In 52 (Vol. 1) #36, titled “How to Win A War in Space,” Lobo delivers a bounty consisting of Adam Strange, Animal Man, and Starfire) to Lady Styx. He demands payment but gets insults thrown at his face.
Unsurprisingly, this infuriates him, and he makes short work of Lady Styx’s guards before ending things by throwing her into the mouth of the monstrous being Ekron, who then flies directly into a Sun-Eater. To her insults, he replies:
“I killed every living thing on Czarnia fer fun. I killed Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny an’ things that don’t even exist, an’ so help me, I tried ta follow th’ triple-fold path o’ peace. I tried my best… but frag me for a bastich, even I got limits!”
Lobo frequently boasts of having committed one of the most infamous genocides in DC lore. He engineered scorpion-like insects to kill his entire five billion-strong homeworld of Czarnia and scored himself “A.” And he did it for fun.
Also, in The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special, a drunk Easter Bunny hires Lobo to kill Santa Claus out of jealousy over Christmas overshadowing every other holiday. Lobo slaughters Santa’s elves, and decapitates him in a brutal knife duel at the North Pole.
3
“I’m Just Too Tough To Kill By Ordinary Means!”
Czarnians are a tough race to kill. Their physiology grants them rapid regeneration and near-total resilience. And this has been shown at countless moments in the comics. However, the lengths at which Lobo will go through to get what he wants outpaces even his own regenerative prowess.
One such moment is in Lobo (Vol. 2) #32, titled “Seance on a Wet Afternoon,” where he tracks a bounty named Canis Galoopus. When he gets to a bar, he finds that the man he wants to question Lupus (Canis’ brother) is already dead on the floor.
He seeks out a medium, Madame Sinestra, to summon Lupus’s ghost and interrogate him directly. Lupus’ spirit unsurprisingly refuses to play ball, and Lobo is forced to become a ghost himself to chase down Lupus. But to become one, he has to actually die.
His Czarnian physiology gets in the way when he shoots himself in the head and regenerates quickly enough. “Tis no good, I’m just too tough to kill by ordinary means! There gotta be another way!” he laments. Two men at a farm, armed with tractors, chain him between two vehicles and tear him in half, and it does the trick.
2
“Mess with the Main Man and You Buy Yourself Oceans of Trouble”
In Aquaman (Vol. 5) #4, titled “ A Porpoise in Life,” the King of Atlantis and Lobo team up independently to save a pod of dolphins. Dolphins are one of Lobo’s rare soft spots; across the comics, he’s shown a genuine, near-childlike fondness for them
The rendezvous is the Shinobi Institute, run by Dr. Shinobi, who has been studying them after a ship captain, Tanaka, brought them in. Tanaka is holding them hostage for a bonus payout rather than selling them off as planned.
When Aquaman and Lobo arrive, it’s chaos. Lobo cuts through Tanaka’s henchmen without hesitation, while Aquaman moves to shelter Dr. Shinobi, who doesn’t later becomes a casualty. Tanaka himself survives the fight, but an angry Aquaman leaves him stranded in shark-infested waters as penance. Lobo caps it off with an all-timer pun: “Mess with the Main Man, and you buy yourself oceans of trouble.”
1
“Not a Broad or Booze in Sight! What Kinda God Would Make This His Special Place?”
Issue 2 of the A Contract on Gawd saga sees Lobo take on a being called “Gawd” (a parody of God himself). Lobo arrives on Gawd’s planet called Paradize, on his Spacehog, slaying many angels on his way.
Approaching the Valley of the Sound of Music, where Gawd lives within Paradize, he finds the place devoid of the earthly vices he loves best: sex and drinks. “Fetaal’s Giz! Not a broad or booze in sight! What kinda God would make this his special place?” he scoffs.
He ends up killing Gawd and his brother Dave, but not before being sent to hell and driven out for being too much of a trouble, finding himself in the midst of a civil war that sees the population rise up against Gawd, and also battling and killing the Four Johnnies of the Apocalypse.